Most of us have frequently heard that happiness is less a product of what happens in our environment (on the outside) and more directly related to what happens inside our own minds. But have you really delved deeper into that concept? How much of your daily fulfillment comes from achievement, how others treat you, and what happens in the world, and how much of it comes from inside of you? If we are to be honest with ourselves, I would think that most of us find that we are still deeply affected by circumstances we cannot control.
Thoughts Lead to Emotions
Learning how to effectively work with our own thoughts and emotions is the key to inner happiness and a buffer against whatever negatively comes at us from our environment. Though you may think an emotion happens all by itself, it’s actually always preceded by a thought. She gave me a dirty look and now I feel upset is an example of how a thought causes us to feel a certain way.
Emotions Lead to Perceptions
Once an emotion triggers a feeling in our body, the next likely occurrence is that we form a perception around it. In the example above, that perception might be She doesn’t like me or I did something dumb to make her look at me like that. If we get stuck believing these perceptions are reality, they can lead to more negative thoughts and emotions and the cycle of unhappiness is born.
Using Thoughts and Emotions in a Positive Way
When we look at things this way, it might be tempting to try to stop negative thoughts before they can turn into unwanted emotions. However, the more we try to deny or suppress what we’re thinking, the more likely it is to grow and turn even uglier. The key is to accept the thoughts that go through your head, but not to get attached to them. Think of them as clouds passing through your blue sky—the clouds are not you, the sky is. The thoughts will pass if you let them and will rarely lead to the powerful negative emotions that come from dwelling.
However, if the thoughts are positive ones, you can consciously make an effort to keep them around a little longer, and follow them for clues on what might bring more joy into your life. We attract the energetic we hold onto the most, so by holding onto a joyful encounter with an old friend or a smile from a stranger we contribute to our wellbeing. The more you put your focus on these positive energetics, the more you’ll be shifting your perception to one of abundance and happiness.
A famous quote often attributed to writer Anais Nin reads, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” This is a reminder that the perceptions we develop in our own heads will determine how we see situations, other people, and our universe as a whole. If you allow negative thoughts to pass by without getting attached to them and concentrate on those thoughts that bring positive emotions, you can take an active role in creating a world full of love, understanding and happiness.